i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
