i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
