He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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