we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize