yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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