We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
