My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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