Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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