If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
