What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
