Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
