Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize