And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
