we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
