He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
