He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
and you fell through a lawn chair
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
