you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
