Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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