This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
