i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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