Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
