therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize