I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
