Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
