Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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