better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
