I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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