new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
