There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I'm really into asian looking animals
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Randomize
