yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
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