I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
