You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
