Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Also, beer. Big fan.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize