i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Randomize
