What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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