no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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