I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize