After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
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