im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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