and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
