At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
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