I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize