She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
