how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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