Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
