I feel great
I just peed on a car
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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