hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
