pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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