we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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