At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
