brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
