we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
