take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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