I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
