is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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